Nelson’s Corner | September 2024

Je Suis Childless Cat Lady

If the reference is too dated or obscure, Google “Je Suis Charlie.”

The French slogan  “I am Charlie” was a statement of solidarity with journalists after the satirical magazine, Charlie Hebdo, suffered a horrid terrorist attack by Islamic extremists who felt offended by the magazine’s cartoons. 12 staffers were killed.

I am not — quite — suggesting that J.D. Vance’s attacks on childless cat ladies are terrorism, but solidarity is nonetheless merited. I am, obviously, not a lady — or childless — and I am more a dog guy. But Vance’s idiocy extends beyond the attack on my childless cat lady friends.

Childlessness seems to deeply trouble Vance. He has proposed giving extra votes to those with children, which is perhaps the only MAGA effort to actually increase voting. He may be motivated by the fact that women having children slightly decreases gender competition in the workplace. A woman’s place, after all, is in the kitchen, at least when not in the bedroom.

He has further opined that the “childless” not be allowed to serve as teachers, evidently because one cannot properly teach — or love — others’ kids.

The MAGA affection for child-bearing women is, unfortunately, not matched by any evidence of caring for them beyond fecundity. Even the allegedly superior mama teachers aren’t being offered better pay, daycare, leave to care for their children or any other maternal benefits. In Vance’s twisted view, perhaps the ideal American family is always headed by a hedge fund manager, with mama teacher enjoying the services of a nanny. (Can you be a childless nanny? So many questions.)

So let’s take a dispassionate look at how having lots of children really plays out in the United States.

According to the Children’s Defense Fund:

• Among the 74 million children living in the United States, 11 million live in poverty. One in six children under five (3 million children) are poor, the highest rate of any age group.
• In 2023, there were about 15.09 million children living with a single mother and about 3.05 million living with a single father. 
• Single mothers lead about 86% of single-parent families in the US. 
• Single fathers have higher incomes than single mothers on average. Single fathers are somewhat less educated than single mothers. Single fathers are more likely to be white than single mothers. 

Hmmm . . . Who knew that even poorly educated white men would have an advantage in our society?

Looking beyond ourselves, which we Americans are loath to do, the last thing Earth needs is more babies.

The world’s population is growing rapidly, and nonrenewable resources are being used up.

The consumption of the growing population has led to the loss of half of the world’s wildlife in the last 40 years. Evidently not cats for the childless ladies.

The world’s population has grown from 1 billion in 1800 to over 8 billion today. The United Nations estimates that the population will reach 10.8 billion by 2100, but this could be as low as 7.3 billion if women’s reproductive rights continue to improve. Trump, Vance et al are making sure that won’t happen.

The data make it quite clear that women bear both the children and the responsibility to care for them. Perhaps entitled men like J.D. Vance might consider criticizing their male compatriots who apparently care for less than 14% of the children they father after a couple splits.

Or perhaps they could propose support for the group suffering the highest rate of poverty in the nation – children under five. That statistic should bring any humane person to tears.

No, J.D., we don’t need more babies. If you and Usha want more, there are 550,000 children in foster care in the U.S., with more than 160,000 awaiting adoption. If you can get past your jingoism, there are 20 million children around the world waiting, often in brutal circumstances, for a family to love and adopt them.

So I stand with the childless cat ladies. Childlessness is a virtue, not a sin.

And many of them are damn fine teachers!