1. Treat Release Puzzle Toy by Canine Genius:
Keep your dog busy for hours so you can sleep, go to work guilt free or just keep your pup from destroying everything in its way. caninegenius.com, $20.
2. Fur Ball Laced with Catnip:
Your kitty will go wild for this, even if it’s basically giving your pet a mild narcotic. Don’t be too jealous, ya hear!
petco.com, $3 and up.
3. Woofapedic Health Assure Interspring Dog Bed:
Just make sure you get yourself a nice bed, too; otherwise you’ll be fighting your pup for space in the middle of the night. muttropolis.com, $179 and up.
4. Gucci Signature
Web/Chain Dog Collar: Your dog deserves the finer things in life; please buy your wife a Gucci bag first. gucci.com, $195.