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Get off Ariana Grande’s case


Let me start by saying that I don’t like Ariana Grande’s music at all. But then, why would I? It hasn’t been created for a forty-year-old to enjoy. No, this is a Nickelodeon TV star making vacuous but catchy pop music for children who aren’t creatively mature enough for artistic challenges yet. It’s fun and dumb, and that’s fine. Let the kids dance.L

So what is it that is driving me to jump to this person’s defense? Well, the last couple of days have seen my social media feeds filled with hateful drivel aimed at Miss Grande. Apparently, she should be deported (she was born in Florida by the way, so maybe these racists can make a case for keeping her locked in the Magic Kingdom Castle, but that’s all you got), she’s a (and I quote) “commie,” she’s a disgrace, and other similarly passionate rants.

So what did Grande do? Did she kick a puppy? Did she jump to the defense of Bill Cosby? Did she choose to support an LA sports team despite being from Florida?

She did none of these heinous things. Rather, a video emerged on TMZ (no less) of her in a donut shop licking food alongside her young boyfriend, and then saying, “I hate America, I hate Americans,” when the staff brought out a fresh tray of donuts.

Now, as one-liners go, this is a dud. It’s not funny. That’s not because it’s offensive; only an idiot would get offended by an off-handed remark made by a 22-year-old in a donut shop while showing off to her man. No, it’s not funny because it’s not. The only person who has genuine cause to be offended is the dude who works at the donut shop, just trying to do his job. And licking the donuts was gross. But it’s telling that people are more up-in-arms about what she said than what she did.

In context, Grande was really just doing the equivalent of singing, “First world problems,” when somebody else says, “Whaahhh – I don’t know where to go on vacation this year.” She was making a joke about the amount of food that this country takes for granted. The thing is, Ariana Grande is no genius. She is not a scholar of international economics, and so it just sounded dumb.

But being a bit dumb at 22 is no crime. In fact, if someone were to list all of the dumb things that all 22-year-olds have said, no one would be innocent. We’d all be commies and up for deportation.

Of course, Fox News got in on the act. An expert in the field of subtlety, former Miss America Theresa Vail, “speculated” that Grande’s attitude is because of the President’s inability or refusal to speak up for American values. “I hope that she loses fans,” says Vail.

Ariana Grande is a ridiculous and rude person. She’s a crappy musician and, as I just discovered during ten minutes of musical research, she sings lines like “Now that I’ve become who I really are.” However, let’s not go overboard. She’s not a traitor. She said something stupid when she thought (naively, apparently) that she was out of earshot of the media. Let the silly girl keep making her silly music, and chastise her for that.

The rest of it is nonsensical pseudo-patriotism.


Brett Calwood
Brett Callwood is an English journalist, copy writer, editor and author, currently living and working in Los Angeles. He is the music editor with the LA Weekly. He was previously a reporter at the Longmont Times-Call and Daily Camera, the music editor at the Detroit Metro Times and editor-in-chief at Yellow Scene magazine. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brett_Callwood

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