A Blunt Talk Valentine’s Day Gift Guide

Valentine’s Day is the perfect occasion to ignite a romantic spark with a new love interest, or to rekindle the heat into of your burning flame. The gifts you exchange with your lover can set the mood and drive your amorous experience, but you’re going to have to do better than heart-shaped milk chocolate and boring roses, so in this month’s column, we unite our love of Do-It-Yourself kitchen cannabis projects and our appreciation for gifts especially suited for the holiday.

Cannabis has been used as an aphrodisiac for at least 3,000 years. In India, cannabis was a key component in remedies formulated to stimulate the libido, and played a central role in Tantric sex practices by 700 AD, where its use carried over into Tantric Buddhist practices spread across the Himalayas. In Europe, Serbian men were known to blend high grade hash with almond butter, dried flower petals, spices, roots, and sweeteners to make an aphrodisiac reputed to restore youthful vigor, while in North Africa, the locally harvested kif is prized by women for it’s value in loosening inhibitions. But the fun doesn’t stop long ago and far away. Research conduced in the US in the 1970s and 80s found that combining cannabis with intimate experiences led to an enhanced sense of touch, a heightened intimacy, stronger orgasms, and better sex.

A New Take on Flowers and Candy

Let me save you the time and trouble: she doesn’t want basic flowers and chocolate. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want any flowers or chocolate.

A Bay Area company has hit the news recently with their brand of herb called Sexx-Pot, which claims to set a relaxed and erotic mood for laid back fun that’s “akin to vacation sex” according to one user. The secret seems to be that the herb is lower in THC—somewhere around 14%—making it relaxing and enhancing, but not outright intoxicating. The strain is derived from Mr. Nice—a sativa-dominant cross of G-13 and an old-school Hashplant, but you don’t have to travel to the Bay to pick up flowers to set the mood—anything in your local dispensary the mid-low THC range that has sweet earthy, slightly floral aromas should do the trick.

Edibles can enhance your evening as well, but steer clear of anything with more than 25 milligrams of THC if your goal is just to sharpen the senses without getting stoned. Infused hard candies and mints have light fast-acting effects that can turn a make-out session into a heightened experience, while richer chocolates have a longer onset that washes over you after just the right amount of foreplay.

Sensual Relaxation

For experiences that will last past the evening, consider some gifts that will loosen your lover up any time. Cannabis-infused spa treatments are all the rage, with new offerings and articles appearing weekly. Combining sensuality and relaxation, cannabis oil can be infused into everything from facial masques to bath bombs, but you can skip the spa and prep the pampering in your own kitchen, and stage it in your own bathroom, so the bedroom is close by.

Massage Oil

Heat ¼ cup of sweet almond oil in a double boiler set to medium-low and add 2-3 grams of finely ground cannabis. Look for a strain that’s got a dark blossomy aroma like Lavender or Dawg’s Waltz to get the most out of the plant’s aromatic synergy. After about an hour, strain this mixture through cheesecloth into a dark glass jar and let it cool completely. Add 5 drops each of sandalwood oil, rose essential oil, and bergamot oil, swirl well to combine, then seal the jar and let the oil cure for 24 hours. The oil will be good for equal parts arousal and relaxation for about two weeks, and your partner will certainly find a special way to thank you for an enhanced rub down with this fragrant blend.

Infused Coconut Oil Base

For the rest of our spa recipes, you’ll need to make cannabis coconut oil as a base—luckily, it’s amazingly simple. Heat 1 cup of coconut oil on low in a slow cooker until it’s liquid, then add 2 ounces of finely ground herb and 5-6 cups of distilled water. Turn the crock pot up to high for an hour and stir the mixture a couple of times, then turn it to low or warm for 4 to 24 hours. Strain the herb from the mixture and leave it in the fridge overnight—the coconut oil will form a hard layer on the top that can be easily removed, and the water can be dumped down the sink. To remove the bits of herb left in the coconut oil, just melt it over low heat and strain it through a fine sieve or coffee filter, and collect your refined oil.

Facial Masque

Combine ¼ cup of your infused coconut oil with 2.5 teaspoons of cinnamon and 2.5 teaspoons of nutmeg—stir well, and seal. To use, apply gently to the face and allow to set for up to 30 minutes, applying a warm washcloth to steam.

Bath Salts

Combine 2 cups of Epson salts with 10 drops of tea tree oil and 10 drops of lavender oil in a large bowl, then fold in ¼ cup of your infused coconut oil and mix well. Add directly to bath water, or bundle into cheesecloth to make a sachet.

Bath Bomb

Sieve together 1 cup baking soda, ½ cup citric acid, and ½ cup corn starch in a large bowl, then in a separate bowl, add 1/8 cup infused coconut oil, 1 tablespoon of witch hazel, 20 drops of lavender essential oil, and a few drops of purple food coloring. Wearing gloves, slowly add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients in the large bowl a little at a time, kneading the mixture well until it has the texture of wet sand and a uniform color. Use small bowls to mold the mixture into bath bombs, and lay them out on a cookie sheet to dry for a day or two before use.

Luxurious Lotion

Use a clean glass jar to combine ¼ cup of your infused coconut oil with ½ cup almond oil (you can infuse a little extra when you’re making your massage oil if you want to add an extra boost), ¼ cup beeswax, 1 teaspoon vitamin E oil, 2 tablespoons Shea butter, and 3-5 drops vanilla extract. Place the jar in a medium saucepan with a few inches of water warmed over medium heat, stirring while everything melts and combines, then remove, allow to cool, and cover.

Herbal Personal Lubricant

When it comes to cannabis concoctions for an erotic evening, nothing has gotten more recent attention than infused lubricant. The reviews are mind-blowing: focused relaxation, increased lubrication, and more, stronger, and longer lasting orgasms for her. And best of all, you can make it at home easily and affordably.

Start with medium chain triglyceride oil (liquid coconut oil). It’s important not to use the normal coconut oil you used for your spa treatments, because you want to be sure this is liquid at all temperatures. Add 1 cup of MCT oil, 1 cup of finely ground cannabis, and 1 tablespoon of liquid sunflower lecithin into your trusty slow cooker and heat it on your lowest setting (Warm, if you have it) for four hours, stirring every 15-20 minutes. After letting the mixture cool, strain it through a cheesecloth or fine sieve, and store it in a pump spray bottle for easy application.

Well there you have it, lovers—with a few ounces of herb and a little time in the kitchen, you can concoct a full line-up of classy gifts to take you and your Valentine to a higher plane of sexy delights. Have fun, play safe, and happy V-day! xoxoxo