French’s 5

The most awesomely bad horror flicks ever. Just in time for Halloween.

5. Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
Alien clowns who murder people. Jugalos my ass.

4. Re-Animator (1985)
An homage to Frankenstein with the most disturbing love scene since “Deliverance.”

3. Dr. Giggles (1983)
For the first 10 minutes, homicidal Dr. Evan Rendell’s psychopathic giggling is creepy. Then, it’s like watching a “Friends” marathon where Janice is the only one with a speaking role. And a scalpel.

2. The Gate (1987)
Pre-pubescent Stephen Dorff opens the gateway to Hell. Hell, by the way, is apparently populated by M.U.S.C.L.E. Men toys.

1. Snakes on a Plane (2006)
It has everything to qualify as a horror flick: Gratuitous gore, death, mayhem, nudity, a last-second attack by the killer(s) and Samuel Jackson cursing. The only thing missing is anything scary.