It’s You… Or Wait, Is It Me?

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Have you ever jokingly heard, “that sounds like a you problem?”. Let’s talk about mental health and how a “you problem” can affect both you and me. Things like bullying, negativity, unrealistic expectations, false information and their presence on social media or in real life can be difficult things to deal with, and they can affect your mental health or others around you.

We can choose how we let things affect us and we can decide if it is a problem with “you” or “me” or both. A few skills to practice in these times of mental challenge:

• Pause and try to focus on the positive path forward for ourselves and those around us.
• Consider whether you’re turning someone else’s “you” problem into a “me” problem.
• Search for win-win solutions for everyone.

You are in control of who you are and what you let affect your physical and mental health. Everyday you make choices like wearing a seatbelt, a mask, or sunscreen, or whether you blow cigarette smoke in someone’s face. We do some of these things automatically and other things we think more about. I encourage you to explore this question when you make your next health decision: “Am I making this decision for you, for me, or for us?”

Let’s use our experiences to create positive opportunities and to teach others something healthy. We become who we are and improve our lives from experiences good and bad. Let’s share together a healthier future through good choices for you, me, and us. As an advisor in grad school once told me, “It’s who we are that counts, not just what we do.” This is a good lesson to remember …For Your Life™.

Others can’t tell you who you are or that your actions are wrong. We can respect their choices while trying to work towards a more mentally healthy lifestyle together. Next time you see someone make that unhealthy choice, try not to get upset, and ask: Is it me? Is it them? Who will be affected by this decision? And maybe most importantly, who cares? 

Gary Gianetti has an M.S. in Allied Health and holds certifications in health, fitness, and exercise sciences. When he’s not coaching, he enjoys outdoor adventures on foot, rock, wheels, and in the air with his little ones and his wife. He is the founder of Healthy Altitudes…For Your Life™.