The Prairie Dog Threat

Forget about Al-Qaeda. The real threat comes from radium-loving prairie dogs. Seems the suicidal critters will stop at nothing to spread radium-226, lead, uranium and arsenic across parts of Boulder County. The enemy has established a base of 200 combatants near the Valmont Butte. The furry fighters have dug through material that contained the deadly toxins. Clean up plans won’t be finished until the tiny terrorists are relocated to GITMO. Terrorist coddlers in Boulder are reluctant to use deadly force against the four-legged Jihadists. “Lethal controls would be the last resort,” a city official said.